A Letter to the Yankees Front Office

To whom it may concern,

I know you’re just starting the off-season, so I won’t waste your time. But, I have a couple of things I’d like to discuss.

First and foremost, please drop your personal appearance policy. I know you’ve heard this complaint for years, but I think now is the time to act. Here is a suggested update:

“All players, coaches and male executives are forbidden allowed to display any facial hair other than mustaches (except for religious reasons), and scalp hair may not be grown below the collar. Long sideburns and ‘mutton chops’ are not specifically banned.

Any policy that contains ‘mutton chops’ is clearly in need of review and updating.

In the spirit of progress, I think this update should be considered. The game is changing and it’s time for your franchise to catch up. Let the players sport a beard, or long hair. In terms of clubhouse culture, it’s an easy change to make and has the ability to improve the overall morale of the team. My company recently changed its dress code to allow employees to wear jeans and it has made a positive impact on the company’s morale and culture.

Remember when Don Mattingly became manager of the Miami Marlins and tried to institute a similar policy, but abandoned it the following year because it was a “pain in the ass” to enforce? And this is a guy who hated your policy as a player. And he tried it anyway. And he hated it. 

This leads to my next point: Please sign Bryce Harper.

I don’t know him personally, but I’m not sure he’s the kind of guy who would be willing to comply with your current appearance policy. If you decide to sign him, I see this playing out two ways:

#1 The appearance policy is dropped or relaxed prior to him signing. This is done either by choice, or request from Harper and his agent, Scott Boras.

#2 You do not change the policy and Harper openly defies it.

Remember in 1985 when NBA commissioner David Stern said Michael Jordan couldn’t wear his Nike Air Jordans? And the NBA fined him $5,000 for every game he wore them? And Nike paid those fines because they were making money hand over fist selling his shoes? You have to think Blind Barber or whichever prospective hair care company that would sponsor Harper would be willing to do the same. It would not only shed more light on your outdated policy (unfortunate for you), but would be a huge marketing boon for whatever company is bold enough to do it.

I know you’re already chock full of outfielders and I’m not into the “Move Bryce to first base” crowd, but I think it would be great for baseball’s most brazen player to go after the most arcane policy on the greatest franchise in professional baseball.

If you would like to discuss this further, please feel free to reach out to me.

Sincerely,

Chris Shorts

Nicki Collen, Uber-Coach

If you had to pick a WNBA Coach of the Year today, who would it be? You could make an argument for Dan Hughes, who has taken the Seattle Storm to the top of the WNBA standings, after only making the eight-seed last season. However, I think the most obvious pick is Atlanta Dream’s Nicki Collen. She’s taken Atlanta from the proverbial basement in 2017 to the 2nd best team in the WNBA.

After a 12-22 record last season, The Dream decided to part ways with head coach Michael Cooper. As his replacement, they chose Connecticut Sun assistant coach, Nicki Collen. Hardly a wild card pick, as her move into a head coaching position was long overdue.

Continue reading “Nicki Collen, Uber-Coach”

The Many Deaths of ‘Point Break’

1991’s Point Break is no doubt a great film. It also has a significant amount of death scenes, specifically in the second half. If you haven’t seen the movie yet (which I have no idea why that would be the case), stop reading now or prepare for spoilers.

giphy7 Continue reading “The Many Deaths of ‘Point Break’”

My Man! The Denzel Washington Scatterplot

Which character do you think of when you hear the name Denzel Washington? Alonzo from Training Day? John Creasy from Man on Fire? Or maybe Dr. Philip Chandler from St. Elsewhere? Everyone has their favorite Denzel character, I definitely have mine (Alonzo and Robert McCall).

I like how good he is at playing a good guy who is also bad guy and a bad guy who is also a good guy. He can toe the line better than anyone. But which good guys are the best kind of good guys? Which bad guys are the worst kind of bad guys? Also, which good guys are the worst bad guys and which bad guys are the best good guys? It’s a lot to digest. Continue reading “My Man! The Denzel Washington Scatterplot”

Whose Run Was Better? ’92-’96: Tom Cruise vs Tom Hanks

This is the first piece in a series I’m currently calling “Whose Run was Better?”(better title forthcoming, I hope). The premise is to look at two actors and their respective film runs. Most of the time, the time periods for two actors does not line up. HOWEVER, sometimes, if we’re lucky enough, two great actors put together the greatest runs of their careers AT THE SAME TIME. To that end, I present the following: Continue reading “Whose Run Was Better? ’92-’96: Tom Cruise vs Tom Hanks”

Sue Bird is Living Her Legacy

If you’ve followed basketball at any point in the last two decades, you’ve probably heard of Sue Bird. Over the course of her career, she’s racked up quite a few accomplishments. She’s a high school champion, NCAA champion, Olympic champion, and WNBA champion.

At 37 years old, Sue Bird doesn’t have anything left to prove. She’s won everywhere she’s been and continues to play at the highest level.

Now in her 15th year as the Seattle Storm’s point guard, she’s currently second in the WNBA in assists and her assist to turnover ratio leads the league for players with more than 60 dimes. But, her success on the court goes beyond her elite passing abilities. Continue reading “Sue Bird is Living Her Legacy”

High School Movies – Part 3!

This list was tough and comes with qualifiers. One, this is a list of my favorite high school movies, not the best high school movies. This list could easily have been The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And while those movies are awesome, they don’t make my list based solely on the fact that I didn’t really watch those movies as much as the ones listed below. The movies listed had more of an impact that the standard top 10 80’s & early 90’s high school movies. Anyhow, here are my favorite high school movies that were released before I was in high school. Continue reading “High School Movies – Part 3!”